Victim of Love

Camille Guthrie
Photograph by S. Ruvalcaba on Unsplash

It may be true

that I’m limerent

for you another victim

of love I’ve got all

the relevant symptoms

 

At the Dairy Bar waiting

for fries I see you

lunching with a friend

mood-dependent I’m ready

to pour vats of ketchup

onto her head, yet when

you say hey I order

rainbow sprinkles

for everybody

 

I remember every bit

of how you explained

the ancient trade routes

so cute! I tried concealing

my need to sob into

your shoulder to disguise

my longing for reciprocal

feelings—denied

 

Oh, you know that Tuesday

you pressed me hard

up in the hallway below

the Manet print and kissed

me till Doomsday and promised

me true love halfway? That’s

a day I often replay

 

The tears haven’t ceased

because you didn’t invite me

to watch a John Candy movie

but you asked Lucie and Abby I

hate you I hate every lady

ever born I hate everything

from the eighties I’m going

to run a film fest of Italian

revenge films from the sixties

and not invite you especially

not Abby nor Lucie

 

Like a tween the moment

Zayn left the band

my love’s intensified by

adversity like when

you left for a seaside vacation

and never sent one

postcard I cried so bad

 

Oversensitive to random

interactions I hope to bump

into you at the Rite Aid

that shampoo and shaving cream

in your basket quite attractive

I want action in the aisle of lotions

Who are the condoms for?

Me? Better be

 

Sometimes you pass me by

in your little rusted-door car

your quick wink at

the stop sign fills

me with religious

adoration

 

Upon waking much

aching in the heart

at four in the morning

snow’s coming down hard

I’m aging alone

online dating’s

not for the weak

I’d rather be mating

for life like wolves

or prairie voles but

you’re ice-skating arm-in-

arm with a waitress it’s just

degrading heartbreak

 

My feminist friends

think I’m insane

to wait for you

endlessly my nemesis

at yoga thinks you

merely feign interest

Even my therapist so patient

when I complain says,

Do we need to

talk about this again?

 

There’s an election

presidential there are wolves

moving south from the ice melt

floods left Louisiana

a disaster area dire world

affairs but tonight you

brought bubbly wine

called me honey and

I am walking on air

Camille Guthrie is the author of four books of poetry, including Diamonds (BOA Editions 2021). She is the director of Undergraduate Writing Initiatives at Bennington College.